I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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