Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You know, be my cock's hype man.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
