You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
