My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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