I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
