i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
