where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
