oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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