The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
