I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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