nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
