its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
