You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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