My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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