she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
