I think I died a long time ago.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
