i always forget guys have bellybuttons
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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