I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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