just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
A bitchslap is in order.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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