I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
