I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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