How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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