Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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