It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
