I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
