I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
