I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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