Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
