it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
