I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
