Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
