so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
