That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
