on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
