He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
