She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
