I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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