got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
