She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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