Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
