At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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