you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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