By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
