she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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