So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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