The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
