Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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