she is the kim kardashian of front butts
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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