She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
