The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
