i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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