Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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