I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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