The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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