Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize