you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
