Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
