Say something about gay babies.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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