So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
